Marriage is supposed to be a safe harbor in the storms of life. Sadly, cocaine addiction and trusting relationships don’t mix. The dishonesty and distance that come with substance use break that bond of trust. Many marriages cannot survive the strain of active cocaine addiction. Perhaps you feel like you’re running the house and raising your children alone. Maybe confrontations have led to heated arguments or violence. You may even wonder if your spouse is struggling with an addiction at all or if it’s your imagination.
If you can break through the lies and overcome enabling, you may be able to get through to your spouse. Your love and support could give them the strength they need to get professional cocaine addiction treatment.
Are You Enabling Your Partner’s Addiction?
You may be tempted to turn a blind eye to what’s really going on with your spouse. It may be easier to pretend that there isn’t a problem rather than confront the truth.
Denial is one of the most common enabling behaviors when it comes to dealing with a spouse’s addiction. Enabling refers to any actions — or lack thereof — that make it easier for your spouse to continue using cocaine. After dealing with addiction for so long, it may be hard to recognize what falls into the category of enabling. Here are some of the most common enabling behaviors to look out for:
- Taking on your spouse’s responsibilities, especially around the home
- Lying to others about your spouse’s behaviors
- Making excuses for your spouse with coworkers, friends and family
- Avoiding confronting their troubling actions because you’re afraid of how they’ll react
When you can admit to yourself that your husband or wife is addicted to cocaine, you can end denial and enabling. You can help your spouse get the treatment they desperately need.
How to Help a Husband or Wife Dealing with Addiction
As a spouse, you are a partner to your husband or wife. Your position in their life allows you to play a key role in their recovery. If you’re not sure how to support them, here are some tips for helping someone addicted to cocaine.
1. Research Addiction
Addiction is a disease. To help your spouse, you’ll want to learn about how it works and the best treatments available to address its chronic and relapsing nature. It’s important to fully understand addiction and its impact on you and your family before commiting to supporting your spouse’s recovery in full.
2. Have an Open, Honest Conversation
Whether your spouse is openly using cocaine or still trying to hide their addiction, you need to confront them. Keep the conversation short and simple. Let them know that you are not trying to end your relationship — you’re trying to heal it. If your spouse continues to refuse treatment, let them know that you may be forced to detach with love or leave the relationship.
3. Be Aware of the Changes to Your Marriage
When addiction takes center stage, change is inevitable. Even with treatment, there may be a lot of hurt and trust issues that you and your spouse will need to work through as you make your way toward a new life.
4. Know That You Cannot Control Your Spouse’s Choices
Your spouse controls their future. They choose whether or not to walk the often difficult road to recovery. Your choice is to support them or to let them go. Give your spouse the space to make their own decisions and determine what works best for you and your kids.
Help for Spouses of Drug Addicts
There is only one person you can change — yourself. As you help and encourage your spouse toward recovery, be sure to take care of yourself throughout this process. You can do so by:
- Finding a support system of your own, such as support groups designed for family members with addicted loved ones
- Seeing a therapist one-on-one along with any family or couples counseling
- Practicing self-care so that you have strength for the long road ahead
Find Effective Treatment for Cocaine Addiction
Addiction is a serious disease. If your spouse is battling a cocaine addiction, they don’t have to do it alone. Gateway Foundation specializes in customized, comprehensive cocaine addiction treatment. This highly personalized experience is catered to your spouse’s exact needs. Please contact us today to learn more.