Lindsey

Lindsey grew up in southern Illinois, where faith, family, and community were always at the center of her life. She built a steady career in healthcare, got married, had children, and stayed active in her church. But what began as casual drinking turned into something more serious.

Gradually, alcohol started taking over her life, being used to cope with stress and pain she carried from her past. “It took center stage before everything,” Lindsey admits. Moments that should have been joyful, like birthdays, baseball games, family dinners, were overshadowed by alcohol.

The chaos wasn’t loud or violent, but constant: lost keys, missed appointments, half-kept commitments, excuses. “It was exhausting. I was physically there, but not present,” she recalls. Lindsey was familiar with the effects that an alcohol use disorder could have, as her sister passed away from the disease. She showed compassion and understanding to her sister when struggling with alcohol, but found it harder to give herself the same grace.

The turning point came after a serious health scare with her husband. The stress led her to drink even more, and she eventually realized she was in over her head. “That’s when I really saw how powerless I was,” she explains. “It wasn’t about willpower anymore. I loved him, I loved my kids, but I still reached for a drink. That’s when I knew I couldn’t fix this on my own.”

Her mother-in-law found Gateway Foundation in Carbondale, and pleaded with her to get help. Though Lindsey resisted at first—citing kids, work, and responsibilities—she realized she had already lost the ability to truly show up in those roles. Treatment wasn’t an option; it was a necessity.

At Gateway, she found unexpected relief. “I slept better than I had in years,” she recalls. The structure gave her space to rest and begin facing truths she’d been avoiding for so long. Her counselor, played a large role in her recovery. “She scared the bejesus out of me—but in the best way,” Lindsey laughs. “She didn’t coddle me. She told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. At the time I didn’t love her for it, but now I’m so grateful.”

Lindsey formed a lasting friendship with her roommate, who helped her navigate the early days of treatment. Even after leaving Gateway, they stay in touch and support each other in their recovery.

When Lindsey left treatment, she worried about how her small community would react, and whether she would be judged or criticized. But the opposite happened. Friends, family, and acquaintances responded with encouragement. “They reminded me that what was really embarrassing was my life before treatment—pretending, hiding, and struggling silently. Getting help wasn’t weakness; it was strength.”

A year later, Lindsey celebrates recovery with clarity and gratitude. She credits Gateway for giving her the foundation, and she continues her recovery through daily practices: attending AA meetings, holding herself accountable, and staying busy with hobbies like writing.

In fact, for Lindsey, writing was and still is an outlet for her in her recovery. She recently published a book where she shares her story in depth. “Even if only one person reads it and feels less alone, it’s worth it,” she says. During treatment, books by others in recovery became her lifeline, so she hopes her words can serve the same purpose for someone else.

Beyond storytelling, Lindsey sees her book as a way to confront stigma. She aims to break down the stereotype that a substance use disorder is a moral failing or a weakness. “I’ve lived a pretty normal life aside from being an alcoholic,” she says. Addiction doesn’t discriminate. It touches the lives of people from all backgrounds. Her hope is that by speaking out, she can chip away at the stereotypes that keep people suffering in silence.

Looking back, the biggest difference is simple but profound: peace. “Before, everything was chaos. Figuring out how to drink between work and kids, lying, covering, constantly scrambling. Now, there’s calm. My kids know which mom is coming home. My husband and I don’t fight the way we used to, because every fight was really about alcohol. Everything in our lives is 1,000% better.”

For those still struggling, Lindsey offers this: “What you’re doing now isn’t working. Even if you can’t admit it yet, you’re not really present. Treatment feels overwhelming, but it’s such a short time compared to what you get back. A month for a lifetime—it’s worth it.”