- July 29, 2026
- Gambling
Like many parents, Kim didn’t know about her teenage son’s gambling until it was almost too late. What began with buying video game skins in grammar school escalated to offshore casinos and crypto markets by the time he reached college. Out of that experience, she co-founded Parents Standing Together, a nonprofit supporting parents whose children are caught in the grip of problem gambling.
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Transcript:
KIM FREUDENBERG
It is so mind bogglingly terrible, to be parenting a child with a gambling disorder. If we could save one person from having to suffer this nightmare, we would do whatever we could.
SHANE COOK
Welcome to another edition of Wager Danger. I’m your host, Shane Cook. Gambling disorder program director at Gateway Foundation. And my guest on this episode is Kim Freudenberg. Kim co-founded Parents Standing Together, an organization built by parents for parents who have children that are caught in the grasp of problem gambling. Families are often in the dark about their child’s gambling behavior, and Kim knows this firsthand as she watched her own son fall into gambling addiction that started at 11 years old. He played video games and quickly discovered loot boxes, and by the time he was in high school, his gaming led him to offshore casinos, sports betting and crypto markets before he finally found recovery. Kim and I also get into the new threats coming at our kids faster than most of us can track. Prediction markets, nonstop app advertisements, even a video game called Gamble With Your Friends that sold 2 million copies in a month, but Kim is determined to share her knowledge and experience.
She tells us how a small group of parents are turning some of their hardest days into a lifeline for thousands of others. Welcome to the show, Kim.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Hi, Shane. Thanks so much. I’m really happy to be here. Thanks for having me.
SHANE COOK
We had an introduction to your organization, parents standing together. Tell us a little bit about yourself, how you founded the organization. I know you have a co-founder as well.
Let’s just dive right in there,
And you can give us a little background on how you got started and how you founded this organization.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah. Happy to. So thanks so much. So again, I’m Kim Freudenberg, I am the one of the founders of Parents Standing together. So we kind of formed roughly, we’ve really only been in existence for about maybe six months. Really only a few months, 3 or 4, actually doing some real work now that we’re kind of getting going.
But we sort of were born from a group of parents who all have children who have experienced gambling harm. And we all met at Gam Anon through different various meetings and then kind of came together and realized that we we love Gam Anon as a program, and it’s great. And we all still attend it and we think it’s it’s just fabulous and all affected others should go to it.
But we also needed another space just for parents to sort of dive a little bit deeper into what’s going on with our kids. A lot of us have kids that are, you know, in the 19 to 24 range, right, where they’re not really quite launched. So it’s the dynamics are a little bit different than like a spouse dynamic or a partner dynamic. We also needed a place to kind of start to gather and share resources and books and podcasts and treatment facilities and clinicians.
And so we just randomly started meeting on zoom, about 8 or 10 of us, maybe a year, year or so ago, and soon realized that this little smaller group meeting of just parents was so helpful to us that then we started looking around and saying, well, like, we’re not the only 8 or 10 parents that this is happening to.
We really need to try to reach reach bigger than that. And that’s kind of how we were born. And then I can talk about what the organization does, but that’s kind of like our origin story.
SHANE COOK
Okay. So you started out as a grassroots organization then essentially, and then and then from that time you said that was about a year ago, and then you also referenced a more recent frame where the organization has come together a little bit more formally and is is growing and expanding beyond just the grassroots effort. So tell us a little bit, how did you get to that point
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah, it’s such a big need. So we started meeting kind of informally like February of 2025 only like, you know, 8 or 10 of us. And then last summer, July of 2025, I went to the National Council on Problem Gambling Conference, and we were still sort of trying to figure out, like a lot of us were already having that itch to do more and to help other people, and we didn’t really know what that would look like.
And I remember going to the conference and just kind of wandering around talking to people, like for a few days and then, you know, all of a sudden towards the end of that, I was like, well, wait, why aren’t we talking to the parents? That’s so obvious. Like, and it kind of surprises me that that wasn’t necessarily the first place where we thought we would be helpful.
But in retrospect, like, obviously we’re going to talk to the parents, you know? So then I came back from that conference and we really started to formalize a little bit about what we wanted the mission of our organization to be, what different supports we would want to provide, how we want to provide awareness. And, you know, we filed our state paperwork last September, and then right at the end of 2025, got our 501c3 and then really started to ramp up getting people that needed support into our program.
You know, maybe around like January, February, March of just this year of 2026. And that’s kind of where we started, like we started with the support piece because that felt the most urgent, because we kept grabbing and finding other parents through various, you know, like Facebook groups we’re in or meetings we were in. And we really thought that, you know, we really need to start trying to build out the support piece of the organization because that was the most urgent, because people, you know, were suffering real time.
And we needed to do something about that first.
SHANE COOK
Right? Okay. So when you when you mentioned the support piece of the organization, what what types of things are you talking about in the way of support there?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah. So we started so we have a couple of things going now. So we have a Facebook group where we have, you know, about 200 people on there so far, which has only been a couple of months. So I think that’s pretty good growth just in the beginning. And we’re also working to start an online community through the Evive app.
They have a friends and family section, which we’re building out a number online community there for maybe people that don’t want to be on social media. We have that. We run a once weekly support group, which is about to expand to twice weekly, where that’s where we’re really I think making the biggest difference for people is getting people into that support group and being able to talk to them one on one and sort of like peer coach them through, you know, navigating this journey.
Right? Even though, of course, there’s no playbook for it. We have that we are about to hopefully in the next month or so, we’re going to launch a course that somebody could purchase through. We have a Kajaani platform and we’re building out a very robust and detailed video course lesson. Right. So for maybe people that can’t access meetings, don’t want to access meetings, we think there’s going to be a contingent of people who will be resistant to, you know, actually coming to a support group meeting, which of course we think is the best option.
And we’re trying to think of like, this problem is so big that we’re going to need we’re trying to build in infrastructure to be able to help people beside synchronously, like through, you know, meetings or one on one conversations. How can we start to build asynchronous support pieces? Because this problem is so big. This is tens of thousands of parents, at least, that are going to need this help.
And, you know, like we don’t have the capacity to to speak one on 1 to 20,000 people. Right? We’re working on that. And then just last night, we had a meeting with some other people kind of in our as our core group is growing, right. We have a good solid set of, I would say maybe 40 or so, 40 or 50 parents that are very involved at this point.
And now we’re looking at ways to kind of push those people out. Right. So we’re going to have a someone’s going to set up a system for one on one support. So like if someone calls in crisis, we can connect them almost like a helpline. We can connect them to a parent that they can talk to right away to help get them those initial steps.
You know, where to go for support. And also in the awareness piece once that gets moving, will now have hopefully soon an army of parents across the entire country where if we develop like a awareness presentation or a thing to give it a college admitted students day or whatever, we have parents in different areas that can start to go and give those out, and we’re really hoping to kind of organically spread the message that way.
SHANE COOK
Wow. Okay. So I mean that’s a that’s an ambitious vision for the organization. I love it though because what you have shared in other forums where I’ve heard you and Linda speak, you’re sharing there’s just a groundswell of people that probably and I think you’ve referenced this when you’ve had these conversations, initial conversations with other parents, there’s just a sense of, Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize there was anybody else that has experienced this.
Is that still true with people coming to the organization that they’re just unaware that or feel so isolated from others that that you’re really you’re really providing a service for individuals?
KIM FREUDENBERG
No, it’s it’s a very beautiful piece of this work. And there’s a lot about this work that’s very hard. Right. And it’s it’s a lot to carry. Right, honestly. But it’s really beautiful to see, you know, this this group of people that we have now that’s grown beyond the original, like, you know, 8 or 10 of us that were kind of doing it to add in more and more and more people that are coming in and are are also want to help other people, whether or not they’re kid’s in recovery.
Right? So we’re we’re aiming to get as many kids into recovery as possible, but also recognizing that sometimes that’s a very long process. And so we have parents coming in that are still sort of living in the thick of the active addiction part, but learning how to care for themselves and in turn turning that outward to then care for other people.
And then when people come into the meetings, you know, it’s it’s really wonderful to see a new person come in and, you know, we’re always like, we’re so sorry that you have to be here, but we’re so glad that you’re here, right? That we have the space for you. But they come in and they start to share and the things that they say, there’s just so much shame.
And they’re sort of like hiding and they’re kind of like head down like, oh, my, my kids stole my credit card and he stole $3,000 and he this or he did this or, you know, these, these terrible things that the people do and the throes of the gambling addiction. And then instead of, you know, somebody being like, oh my gosh, like, why don’t you stop that?
Or what’s wrong with your parenting? They meet an entire group of people that literally just shake their head and be like, yeah, we know. Like, we get it. You don’t have to explain it to us. We already understand where you’re at. And then just to see them kind of just like, you know, relax and be like, oh my God, I thought it was me.
I thought I was a terrible parent. I thought my child was, you know, an evil spawn and just doing these awful things. We’re like, no, your child is very sick, right? Your child has a brain disorder and you’re not a bad parent. You’re a great parent because you’re here trying to figure out what you can do, you know, to help your kid, right?
And it’s just really nice to see that support come together.
SHANE COOK
Yeah. So so maybe this is a good opportunity to share a little bit about your own background. And you know what what led you to this point to to really think about I want to be able to connect with other people and really how what the genesis was behind parents standing together.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah. You know, and we’re all like all of us that are working in this organization, like we’re all lived experience. We all have suffered this with our own children. Right. And, you know, I’ll give you a brief synopsis of kind of my family’s story, but pointing out, as I always do, like, we’re not unique. Like, I’m not like my son and I and my husband like our family.
This is not a unique story. This is a lot of people’s story. And they look slightly different, as you alluded to. Like our collapse was very emotional. Linda’s with her family was very financial. You know, they can take different forms. Right. But my son started at 11 gambling on video games. He was buying skins that then he was taking to offshore illegal casino sites and cash in them in for chips to play roulette and blackjack at like 11, 12 and 13.
Of course, I didn’t know any of this, right? I knew he was playing video games, but I didn’t know any of the rest of this.
And, you know, that went on, you know, in my house, under my roof. I was probably paying for some of it, too, unknowingly for, you know, probably eight years and till he went away to college.
And then at that point he really started to get into sports betting and crypto casinos and you name it, he played it. And just really completely isolating and collapsing and failing out of school a couple of times, you know, had a failed rehab stint in their ultimately ended up getting arrested. And at that point he was like, okay.
Actually I need help, you know? But as the parent living through that, that nightmare and learning how to navigate that and allow these consequences for him, right. When every fiber of your being is screaming like, no, go pick him up, save him, grab him up. But you can’t do that, right? And that’s something that we help parents understand, you know, through our groups and stuff, is that there’s some really tough, probably terrible things coming and just how to how to navigate that and how to get through that.
Right. And then coming out of that, we all are in a place where, like, God, we don’t want anyone ever to have to suffer like this because
it is so mind bogglingly terrible, right? To be parenting a child with a gambling disorder that we all are like, we don’t want anyone else. If we could save one person from having to suffer this nightmare, we would do whatever we could.
SHANE COOK
you know, it’s interesting, I hear that. I hear that a lot. And I totally understand what I was involved with that. I mean, in your experience in working with, with other people and you alluded to this, there is such a I think you kind of developed that rapport with individuals right away because you’re in the same boat in terms of the gambling itself.
And you mentioned that kind of the progression that that your own son went through. And I think it’s very similar for a lot of other people that they follow this same progression. But think a lot of people, and I’ve had this conversation with so many people over over the past few years, and we start talking about the offshore casinos and the ability for teenagers to get access to those facilities.
And I think people are shocked when they start to learn that these are available to people. I mean, how shocked were you when you learned about offshore betting going on and the ability to get access to them?
KIM FREUDENBERG
There’s a whole other world of all of this stuff, you know, that that we just don’t even understand what’s happening. And that’s part of our mission. Also at parents, standing Together is to try to speak to other parents and be like, you need to really look at what’s happening, right?
So like when my son was playing these video games and doing whatever, I had no clue that there was this whole other underworld of this gambling for kids. Right? And that was in like the late 20 tens. That wasn’t even now. I mean, now it’s just on steroids, right? There are so many options that people don’t understand. And gambling is so embedded in every single thing.
Right. And it starts super young. So my son last night I was FaceTiming with him and he plays some video games still like other ones, not the ones that he was in trouble on, but on discord they have like, you know, you can see what your friends are playing. And he’s like, oh, look, my friend so-and-so is playing this game called gamble With Your Friends.
And I was like, oh my God, I have to look this up. And it was horrifying, right? It was this game. And it’s like about basically it was like, gamble your way out of debt with your friends. And it was just alarming. And it sold 2 million copies in like a month.
And it’s like cartoony and all of this stuff like is in video games everywhere.
Besides the stuff that’s like undercurrent in video games like loot boxes, right? This is straight up gambling for kids and it is so dangerous. And, you know, that’s what’s happening to our youngest kids. And then they’re seeing all the advertising, especially for sports betting, their understanding, they’re learning what a same game parlay is when they’re like eight, right?
They’re seeing the announcers talk about it and their favorite player talking about it and their favorite actor promoting it. Right. And and it’s just it’s just been normalized from such a young age, even before they get to traditional or even, you know, the new financial gambling stuff, just all the childhood stuff is so embedded. And as a parent and as society, I don’t think we understand what we’re doing to our kids brains at this point.
And it is so dangerous and not and, you know, a lot of it’s not regulated at all like the game I’m talking about. I looked all over no age requirement, no age restriction as far as I could see. And I’m like, you can just go on and download and the parent doesn’t know what they’re doing because they’re probably not paying that close of attention because they think like it’s just a game. They don’t understand.
SHANE COOK
Man. That’s that’s nuts. I hadn’t heard of that one. So it’s accessible through discord. Is that the only outlet?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Like it was like he saw a friend on discord, but it was just through the steam, you know, where they have all the games and I mean, and then there’s a whole category, it tags all the games, and one of the tags is gambling. And like, I couldn’t honestly, I couldn’t even click it last night because I didn’t want to open up.
Probably. What is an entire other world of that? I didn’t even want to look at it. I was like, I can’t even. Right now.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Like because it was just, you know, it’s so and it’s just so embedded in everything and normal. And, you know, people even like regular people, even if they were reading those descriptions of the game, probably wouldn’t be as alarmed as I was. But there was so much language in the description of playing the game that was so problematic.
Right? That’s all the stuff that’s like tagging you to be ready for a gambling disorder. And it’s just, I don’t know, it’s it’s it’s so much and it’s honestly like overwhelming. And I feel like every single day there’s another new threat coming out that I’m looking at for the kids. And just every day there’s something new.
SHANE COOK
Well, I know there’s so much discussion about prediction markets and kind of the, the big splash that they’ve been making in terms of, you know, accessibility here in the US and outside the US because it’s a worldwide platform. What are some of the feedback that you’re getting from other parents on the opportunities that that presents as well?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah. I mean, especially the younger kids, we definitely have parents coming in whose kids are having issues with prediction markets, and many of them are kids that are accessing it now legally. Right. Like we have kids in California and Utah where sports betting tech, you know, sports betting, you know, real sports betting is illegal. Betting on prediction markets and going into complete collapse.
Another one, we have a parent in the group whose kids like 18 and you know, again legally gambling on prediction markets constantly. And it’s so my my high school kids you know I asked some of my, my boys at the end of the year, I said, oh who’s you know, you guys doing you guys doing prediction markets. And he’s like, oh yeah, yeah we’re doing that.
And I was like, well, who’s doing it? And he goes, well, pretty much anyone you’re looking at you think’s probably doing it. Yeah, they’re doing it right. So like now you know 18 besides the fact of everything that can be accessed illegally. Right. But even legally now 18 these are high school kids we’re talking about. Right.
And I’m talking to them. They’re my students. Right. And that’s just a whole nother world because it’s so dangerous because it’s everywhere. So now there’s just like the big players. Now all the sportsbooks have their own prediction markets. So now even states where sports betting is not legal, we’re getting all their ads for prediction markets. Right. And I think Schwab I read, is opening a prediction market.
Meta is opening a prediction market. Right. These are things I keep seeing in the news, like everywhere is opening a prediction market. And it’s just it’s I don’t even like again, I’m like the onslaught of it is just too much like it’s just too much and it’s super dangerous, especially because parents are like, oh, good. At least my kids are not gambling.
They’re learning about investing. But they’re not learning about investing. They’re totally straight up gambling. But parents especially aren’t going to see it that way. And less they’re educated.
SHANE COOK
Yeah. So what do we do? I mean, from your perspective, how do we get that message out? What’s the most effective way?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Like that’s the tricky part. And I think that’s where like as we are growing as an organization, I feel very confident that our support pieces now are well oiled machine and our humming and are ready to expand. And I think we have good offerings on the support piece. When the parents, you know, know they already have a kid that’s having a problem, right.
But we really would love for that not to be our business at all. We would love to not have any more parents in that situation.
We would like to get it sooner, right. But at this point, the train’s left the station. It’s it’s this generation of young people, especially young men, is, as they say, cooked, right. They’re cooked already like it’s it’s that’s what’s happening. Right. So we really need to now focus, I think, on making parents aware of how it’s being accessed. And what are those warning signs of harm.
Right. Because every kid is not going to have a gambling addiction. Okay. So don’t get me wrong, but there’s a significant subset that is growing that will and the parents need to know how to spot it, and then they need to be told when you spot it, don’t hide from it. You have to address it. Right. And can we can we catch them sooner and intervene before they’re really on the path to a gambling addiction?
I don’t know the answer to that. I hope and pray that we can, but I don’t. Know the answer. Right. So getting the message to the parents, that’s kind of where we’re at as an organization, figuring out how we do that because like we have the materials, we have the messaging, and I think we have the right messengers, right?
Because the parents can talk to the other parents and look at look at us. We’re regular, normal parents, just like you, regular, normal kids who were awesome before they went down to this and getting that out to them. But in order to do that, we need time. We need funding, right? All these things that we don’t have at the moment, but we need to build that.
So that’s what we’re trying to build as a sustainable organization, so that we can have people that have time and resources to go and deliver the message. Then we have to figure out how do we get it in front of the parents. And that’s where it’s tricky, because I don’t know, as a parent of like a 16 year old that I’m going to be like, oh, it looks like my kid might be sports betting too much, but it’s probably going to be fine.
And then they don’t want to disrupt their whole life because they don’t think that they need to until they need to. Right. So that’s going to be the tricky part. And I think it’s really just going to start with like we got to talk to like the kindergarten parents. We have to talk to the sixth grade parents. We need to talk way back then so that it becomes a normal part of conversation that you’re not asking someone like, I know your kids getting ready to go to fancy college and showing signs of gambling harm, you probably shouldn’t send them because they’re going to collapse.
They’re not going to. They probably can’t hear it at that point. You know.
I think where it’s going to be really tricky.
SHANE COOK
Through the process of, of growth and getting the word out and inviting more people to participate. What has been one of the most satisfying things for you? Being a part of this organization?
KIM FREUDENBERG
I think it’s it’s in the people that we have, you know, and it’s been so rewarding to see people come in, you know, just broken and lost, right. And then through the course of even as short as like a few weeks, a month or two, the growth that they make as a person and the growth that they make in, you know, learning about gambling disorder and learning about what is happening to their kid and then seeing also some of these kids get into recovery, you know, and another one goes to treatment and we’re all like cheering because like another one is coming through, you know, and just watching the parents grow and then watching
them sort of rally around each other in tough times. Right. Has been really good. And so many of them now are like, you know, I’m ready to I’m ready to give back even when they’re kind of still in crisis themselves. They’re already like, okay, what can I do? How can I help? How can I give back? And that’s been super, super rewarding.
And I think, you know, like I was saying earlier, we met last night with a bunch of people that want to help us and, you know, in our group and really, this model I think of, we’re going to try to create these systems and these awareness and these support pieces. And then we’re going to start to just farm them out to different places with different people, you know, kind of taking them into their communities.
Right. And seeing where we can go to access the parents and really harnessing the power of the group to be like, you know, someone might be like, well, my library wants a presentation. Great. Go give it at your library. Or like, you know, I know the PTA president at my kid’s old elementary school. Great. Go give the presentation there or take them the materials.
Right. And then hopefully as we grow, that network will continue to grow and we can get more parents on board with what’s happening.
SHANE COOK
Yeah. So in terms of scope across the US, I mean, how well represented are you across the US?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah, we have all the way. You know like I said, I live eight blocks from the ocean on the West coast. And then we have people that live on the Atlantic Ocean. Right.
Really on the ocean. So we span the entire, you know, we’re spanning the entire US. We have, you know, I don’t know how many states represented at this point, but quite a few. Right. So we’re definitely we’re getting people from everywhere, you know, which is also great. As we start to build resources, someone could say, great in my area, like I’m in Chicago and this is where I, my kid, went for therapy. This place was great, right?
And then we can start to pass that word because there’s so many resource resources out there. Well, not so many. There are some. Not nearly enough. Right? But there are some resources out there. But they’re they’re still hard to find. Like it’s still hard to find the help that you need. It’s not easy. We’re trying to make that easier.
SHANE COOK
Yeah. What are you hearing from people that what’s the hard part of of locating help?
KIM FREUDENBERG
I think the hard part is, first of all, we’re trying to teach parents what to look for, for help, because we’ve had numerous people that come in to the organization or to the support group. Right. And they’ll be like, my kid’s been in therapy for four years and spinning our wheels, and now all of a sudden we’re like, oh, he has a gambling disorder.
Now it all makes sense, right? So really helping parents locate gambling specific therapists because even like an addiction therapist sometimes is missing the gambling specific signs or not asking for it. Right? So we’re trying to help parents, like, look for a provider that has an ICGC credential. Here’s the place where you go look it up on the website.
If they don’t have that, here’s a list of what the state credentials are called. Maybe in your state there’s a different name for the credential, right. You want to make sure that the person that you’re seeing is trained. Right. And then this is where the really big problem is, is there’s just not many residential treatment centers for gambling, you know, that that are really good.
There’s a couple. Right. We’ve had people that have had success at a couple. Right. But we really the treatment network as far as residential in this country is severely lacking. Right. So what I would love eventually is, you know, we need a more robust system, especially as the kids get younger, because like when we had the moment with my son, the first time we went to rehab, it was either rehab or he was living on the street because he had no, you know, spouse.
He had no parents because we were them. You know, he had no friends because he was a disaster. He didn’t have anywhere else to go. Right. So when we had to make that hard line with him, we either had to say like, okay, go live in the street or here you can go to this residential facility and then you pick residential.
Didn’t work the first time, but that’s okay. Right? But it was a step. So parents, especially of younger kids, are looking for options of where they can send their kid to just have like a detox and to get their head straight, which also gives the parents to get their head straight. Right. So that’s super missing as well. But as more people go and, you know, sometimes we find a new one like, oh, you went to this random place and random state, never heard of it. But then they can tell other parents about it, right?
SHANE COOK
Okay. So so the networking component of this organization has has really been beneficial for everybody. It sounds like.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah. And hopefully we’ll grow you know because we’re really not that big yet. But we’ve only been really going for a couple of months. So I think like where we’re at after a couple of months is is really good. We have new people adding into our Facebook group every week. They see it, they hear it on a podcast, or they see an article in NPR or, you know, their counselor.
I you know, I’ve been to, you know, the IC PG conference in Illinois. And someone says, my therapist in Chicago told me to come, right. So it’s getting out there and we’re getting more people. Some people are starting to Google and find it, which is great because that’s what we really want someone to be like, oh my God, my kid has a gambling problem. Help! And then we come up so they know where to go, right? You know.
SHANE COOK
Yeah. Well and I think that’s I mean I think you’re well positioned as an organization to be there and provide that assistance for people once they find you.
And I think I think more and more people will be able to find you that much easier. Yeah, it has been I’ll just you know, from my experience, it has been kind of a slow burn in terms of, you know, the education is there that, you know, the research is is supporting the education that’s occurring out there.
And it’s just I think it’s just a matter of the carts way before the horse here. But the horse is catching up. So I think it’s just a I think we’re close actually.
KIM FREUDENBERG
we’re probably looking at at least another decade of destruction and it’s really depressed. It’s really, honestly overwhelming and depressing. It really is. Yeah. But that doesn’t mean that we stop trying. We have to start like we have to just, you know, because I know, like, even if if parents standing together did nothing else pass this day, the people that I know in my heart that we have helped navigate this journey already, it’s worth it.
It’s already worth it. Because I know people are being impacted positively by interacting with us, because I see it happening like every single week. I see the growth and it’s fascinating. It’s fascinating to watch it and it is so rewarding. So even if that was it, then okay, then we did something right. But there’s so much more to do.
But we need funding. We need time. We need more people. Like it’s just, you know, it’s going to be a, you know, we’re growing as fast as we can, but we still, you know, are working on trying to get our resources in place so that we can continue to expand.
SHANE COOK
Right. So at the moment, it’s pure grassroots for for the organization where. But I would imagine you’re receiving some funding from, you know, some places here, even if it’s just individuals that are contributing.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah. I mean, well, right now we have, you know, we have a few people in our core group that have donated to kind of get us going to get the website going and stuff. Many of us are working, you know, I’m working probably 30 to 35 hours a week on top of my day job doing this work for free.
Right? And so is Linda, and so are other people. No one’s getting paid, right. We’re all just doing this for free, and which is fine. I don’t mind doing it for free, but I also then have to hold a whole day job, which is tough, right? As do we all. So we need to get into a place where we can be a real, you know, real organization that has staff, like we don’t have any staff, we have all of us working at nights and weekends, you know, till midnight, making presentations, you know, and then finding $50 to buy the cards that we’re passing out at the conference.
Right. We did just get awarded a National Council on Problem Gambling agility grant, which is just so that’s going to be for a college parent outreach program that we’re going to pilot through this next year. So that was kind of our first major sort of piece of funding, right to go. But, you know, of course, that doesn’t sustain an entire organization, but hopefully at least that project piece, you know, we have, you know, our first kind of signature piece, you know, beyond what we’re doing with support, kind of our signature awareness piece is going to be starting through that through the next year.
So that’ll be good.
SHANE COOK
Do you have a couple of campuses of mind that you’re planning to target?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah, we have two that have signed up to pilot with us, you know, and then also we’re talking to some other people that have other organizations, you know, that kind of have a few colleges in their group that we might be able to kind of get out towards.
I’m thinking, you know, as we’re looking at how to grow, I think one way, not through this piece, but kind of other than this is we know that at this point, there are starting to be some curricula for kids and college students, right, that are teaching the kids about gambling.
Right. So now I’m thinking that one of our best ways to get out there might be to find these groups, like, I know, like North Carolina has a new youth curriculum, Massachusetts has a new youth curriculum, right. These places that have that are talking to the youth, can we come in behind them and kind of tag on and be like, great, we have the parent piece.
So you’re passing this to the kids. Give us the parents, right. Because if we’re just talking to the kids, we’re missing it because the kids, the kids are the kids, right? Right. Because the parents watch it. The parents are the ones that are funding it a lot of the time. Right. Like the parents need to be on board.
00;35;18;21 – 00;35;34;18
KIM FREUDENBERG
So these places where we’re already reaching youth, how can we go behind and add parents standing together as a piece to then let’s attack it from the parents side too, because the more places we’re attacking the problem, you know, the better options we’re going to have at having success.
SHANE COOK
So long term, have you done like a look ahead five year what you what your vision might.
KIM FREUDENBERG
We’re like barely keeping our head above the water.
SHANE COOK
Well I know I know there’s that. But you know, there’s the moments late at night where you’re kind of thinking and reflecting and, you know, you have this idea of what I’d really like to see is X, what’s your future state? What does that look like?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Well, I think that, you know, really what is going to be needed for this problem, right. Is and in terms of our organization, what I see is these support groups that we have and people that we’ve been sort of like, let’s say, raising up in the group to then start another meeting, another meeting, another meeting as more people start coming.
Being able to have an entire network, you know, I mean not not like Gam Anon like kind of like Gam Anon that there’s different meetings but there wouldn’t be that many I don’t think you know but but a parent-focused you know where there’s multiple meetings running and then multiple ways for people to access education to access the information they need both synchronously and asynchronously, because we have to find ways to connect with people digitally that aren’t going to engage face to face and that are maybe still going to be too full of shame or whatever to actually come to a meeting and say, my kid is gambling, but they might go to our course, or they might post in our online group, right? They might do things like that. And then just really, you know, getting out there with awareness and again, this network of people going out and just flooding every single place where we can get to talk to parents with the information, you know, and then also, you know, advocacy is not not a core mission of the group, but just to kind of, you know, be the parent perspective for industry regulators, lawmakers, you know, everybody, right.
Like, we you need to see what’s actually happening. Right. And we’re not really saying, you know, you know, x, y, z. This should happen because I don’t pretend to know that. But we need to put a face to the harm that’s happening. And we need people to understand, you know, that it’s not just like, oh, we have a a player protection.
And, you know, my player might have done X, y, z. Like, that player is my baby. That’s my child. Right? That that’s suffering and he is suffering and he is collapsing. And you know, and my family is collapsing, you know, and kids are either, you know, getting arrested, you know, financial damage. And, you know, the suicide rate is so high.
Like that’s a real, real thing. And we need to understand, like kids are dying because of this. Right? And everyone understands a phenyl overdose, but nobody understands a suicide from gambling disorder. But it is a very, very real thing that is happening. And we need to put a face to that because, you know, we need to see the harms.
We can’t just keep brushing this under the rug and pretend like everything’s cool because it is so not okay. What’s happening?
SHANE COOK
Yeah, that’s a great point. So tell me a little bit about the website itself. Somebody goes out to parents standing together dot org.
What is it that’s going to engage them? What are they going to see.
what kind of tools are available to them right off the bat.
KIM FREUDENBERG
So we really tried to design the website and I think, you know, based on feedback we’ve had, it’s gone pretty well.
it’s a hopeful place right. Because we’re all you know, even though we have to teach parents like a little bit, you have to detach and kind of let it happen.
But ultimately, like we want everyone to get in recovery, right? We want everyone to get back to a, you know, a normal and happy life.
And I think hopefully a little bit of a difference when you go to our website versus other ones is we tried to give some specific examples. Right. So if you go to X, Y, Z website and it says like, hey, look for signs of financial irregularities.
Like what does that mean? Okay. So we’re going to tell you like this is what it looked like in my kid. This is what he did. This is what he did. And yours might not be exactly the same, but it might have you question like, gosh, he did ask for the gas bill again. I thought I just paid that.
That was kind of weird, you know, like things that you might not recognize, right. So we have kind of all that basic information. And then we have a blog section, which I love that Linda has written most of those, but there’s some really specific topics and like specific questions that parents may have really written in a voice that’s like like the last one she wrote.
I don’t know if I published it yet. I have so many left to publish, but that takes time. I was like, I felt like someone had taken a blanket and put it around me and handed me a cup of tea and sat down and put their arm around me. When I read this right.
I felt really comforted by reading that. And so I hope that parents that are in that distressed state can go to those and feel like as much as possible, it is me speaking to it. Is Linda speaking to you? It is one of our other compassionate parents sitting next to you while you’re navigating this, right? That’s how we want it to feel, right?
So that is hopefully going to be a place we have like 30 or 40 of them written, and I’ve only put up maybe like 12 or 13.
I need to get. We have a lot more coming on there too, you know.
SHANE COOK
So that’s great. So you talked about Evive. Is there some collaborative efforts going on between you and Evive as well?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah, definitely. I think it’s such a great place like their their community for the people affected by gambling, like their online community is getting pretty robust and is helpful to people. Right. So the friends and family one, we’re hoping that as we can start to grow that as well, that can just be another place where people can go again, this is people that might need to say something at two in the morning, or they might need to.
They’re just not ready to come to a meeting because they’re so ashamed. Right? They still have a way to access care and help and support by, you know, by posting in the online group. Right. So I think that that is a great place. And, you know, we tell all of our, our parents, you know, we have a list of good places for kids to get help, right?
And we say go to Evive because they have a great community. They have a lot of lessons on their app, and they run some meetings through their community too, which are good because some of the younger kids, they don’t want to go to GA, Right. We say try to go to GA. We want them to go to GA.
GA is a great program. We have some young meetings, but some kids may not access that. And instead of fighting that, let’s give them somewhere else to go, right? We’re trying to provide options. We don’t recommend one thing over the other ever, right? Everyone makes their own decisions, but we’re just trying to give you all the resources and then you try to navigate with your kid.
What’s the thing that’s going to that’s going to help them?
SHANE COOK
Yeah. And I think that’s I think that’s really important. I mean, in today’s world, options are the name of the game for everything, right? So I think if you can if you can provide a digital option even, that’s a great place to start, especially with the younger generation because they’re well, they’re very savvy.
They’re avid users of technology. So very easy transition.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Many options for parents as possible. Right. Because just like I mean, I love going to support group meetings and I find them super helpful. But some people that might be too overwhelming for them, they might prefer to just learn on their own. Right. Then they can access, you know, all the free resources on our website. They could go and purchase our course.
If they want a deeper dive, they could post on the online forums. You know, we could refer them to a different group. Maybe they like smart recovery, maybe they’re super science based, maybe they’d rather go to Gam Anon or they can go to multiple things. Maybe they’d rather read a book or listen to a podcast. You know, we’re going to try to throw out every option to people, you know, and then they can choose what fits what they want, because ultimately we just want everyone to get help.
However it happens, I don’t care, like come to my groups and if you don’t come to me group, that’s fine. But go somewhere, right? Like you need to get help somewhere and I don’t care where the help comes from. We want to give everybody as many options as possible so that they can find something that works for them.
SHANE COOK
Could you at least kind of do a quick like high level a resource walkthrough of what people will find on the website?
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah, sure. So on the website there’s a couple different sections. We have it in four sections that kind of takes you through like what is gambling and is my child even doing it all the way through? How do I survive and thrive in this? Right. And so through those pages, there are some different just like informational stuff. Right? On the very first page we have the First Steps guide.
So we all sat down together and said, okay, when we first found out that there was a problem, what are the six things that we think we better do first? Right? So we kind of wrote those out that have accompanying blog post. We have the whole blog post section, which is all, you know, parent to parent talking. You know, hopefully as close to I can talk to you as possible.
There’s links to the Facebook group on there. I’m not sure if the Evive link is up there yet, but that will be up there.
We’re going to be hosting in another platform where I said where the course is going to be. Hopefully we’re going to start webinars. We just start about starting a podcast, so that might be coming soon.
So that’ll be on the other platform. But all the things you can access through the website and the email is hello at Parent Standing Together dot org, which is also on the website. So if anybody doesn’t find what they need or can’t find it, you can always email that email address. Or if you’re a parent that is in crisis and you need to talk to somebody, email that email address.
We’re getting that network ready to go. And that’s the best way, because then you can get all the other links and everything you know by going to the website.
SHANE COOK
Okay. All right. Well, I appreciate that. One final thought. What’s one thing that you’ve learned in this? You know, going through this process yourself and working with others, what’s the one thing you’ve learned that you think kind of rises above everything else when it comes to interacting with others, with compassion and things like that?
KIM FREUDENBERG
I think the main thing is that going through this process, it it just kind of fundamentally changes you. Right? And I think that the person gambling also through their process, their change. But the parents living through this, it fundamentally changes you. Right. And in some ways like kind of in a bad way that you’re a little bit, I think, always a little scarred by what has happened and you’re always a little apprehensive and you have a little bit of innocence gone about life after this.Has happened to you.
But also with that, on the positive side, I think that our parents will all report that you have sort of a new ability to deal with things and to not make big deals about things that aren’t big deals, and appreciate small things that happen and small moments of happiness that before you may have glossed over. You also gain like this really nice new appreciation of just when things are good or a good thing happens.
Really leaning into that, even if there might be bad things too. But really trying to focus on the positive, I think is the good thing that comes out of that, right? So, but it’s definitely a life changing situation, you know, some bad but also some very, very good, you know, things that you gain positively, you know, as you move through this journey.
SHANE COOK
Well, I think and I think that’s hopeful to I just in terms of, you know, how the interactions play out between the individuals within the family that there is, there is a hopefulness that exists, and recovery and way through it.
KIM FREUDENBERG
Yeah, like recovery is possible. Like kids are getting better, right? We have quite a few. We have a lot of recovery in our rooms. You know, we still have some kids that aren’t there like this one. Mom always, you know, we introduce ourselves and say our kids in recovery. And she always says like he’s not in recovery yet.
I was like, good growth mindset, right? Like not yet. Like we’re working towards it, but we’re always working towards that, you know? But just it might not be happening yet, but we’re still making steps towards it. And we have a lot of people that have kids in recovery in the room. So people coming in can see, you know, like, you know, and then they sometimes they look at me or whoever and be like, wow, you’re so calm.
And you have it all together. And I’m like, no, you weren’t here three years ago when I was the one sobbing, indicating, right, like I was you.
I was here sobbing and couldn’t even do the readings because I was crying so much, you know, and I was like, you know, off my own rails. You weren’t here for that. But that was me. But this could be you too in a couple of years, right? You just have to keep. You got to keep going.
SHANE COOK
Yeah. All right. It’s beautiful thing, Kim, I appreciate it. And thanks for joining us and sharing more about parents standing together this wonderful organization. Appreciate it.
We love hearing from you, so please take a moment to like, share and comment on our podcast. You can reach out to us directly via email at wager Danger at Gateway foundation.org. Look for us on Facebook at Recover gateway on LinkedIn at gateway dash Foundation, or through our website at Gateway foundation.org. Wager danger is supported through funding, in whole or in part through a grant from the Illinois Department of Human Services and the Division of Substance Use Prevention and Recovery.
And remember, recovery is a lifelong process. If you or a family member, is struggling with a gambling problem. Call gateway at (844) 975-3663 and speak with one of our counselors for a confidential assessment.
